Basic Principles

· The problems with food are almost never about food.
· The problem is about power
· The child's view is that they are in charge and not mum. This is normal human behaviour.
· Clearly mum is the only person with the knowledge and wisdom to be in charge not the child.
· From this moment mum is in charge of nutrition.

Food principles

Think of feeding in three tiers. The first is breakfast lunch and tea. The second tier is morning tea and afternoon tea. The third is snack eg a chocolate biscuit.

When there is a feeding problem with the child then IMMEDIATELY move to basic feeding i.e. breakfast lunch and tea AND NOTHING BETWEEN. These three meals must be successful for the mother before moving on.

How can a child demonstrate "failure" at meal time.
A child can fail in any of these ways.
1. Will not eat the range of food.
2. Will not eat the volume that is appropriate.
3. The behaviour pattern is not appropriate eg spitting, throwing food, requiring distraction, leaving the table multiple times, etc
4. The time taken is prolonged eg beyond 30 minutes.

The Plan

Begin at breakfast on the first day.

1. Note that at all meals that solids are given before liquids. Liquids and dessert are only available after success with the main course solids
2. Present a meal for breakfast which is what YOU believe to be adequate and appropriate feeding at that time. You present the meal and the child then has two choices. Eat the meal or not. To fail at the meal can occur in one of four ways as mentioned above. If the child "fails" then do not become involved in a dispute. Remain calm and in charge. The meal has not been a success and thus clear it away. The KEY NOW IS THAT THERE IS NOTHING TO EAT OR DRINK UNTIL THE NEXT MEAL. There is no water, milk, juice, apple, orange, biscuits or anything. Ignore the 1000 requests for "just a drink". This is most important.
   
3. At lunch time (lunch may be an hour early today) deliver a normal, balanced, diet which you think is appropriate for the child at that age. The child then has two choices. If the child fails again then there is no food or DRINK until tea time.
   
4. Once a meal is presented and the child eats the main solids well then the parent can give desert and/or drinks.
   
5. This program usually works quickly i.e. a couple of days. Failure is rare. Remember it takes weeks to starve. Make hunger and thirst your allies.